


Five (Long) Years

by kitkatt0430



Series: Five (Long) Years [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hartley Rathaway is Not Okay, Hartley's got a good heart, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Past Hartley Rathaway/Eobard Thawne | Harrison Wells, Spoilers, Suicidal Thoughts, Tweaking Episode 6x18 Pay the Piper, did the writers forget they gave Hartley secondary powers???, just a little anyway, or at least a once a season guest star, this episode has just fueled my need for Hartley to be a recurring character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:28:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24049726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkatt0430/pseuds/kitkatt0430
Summary: It's 2015 on the dam.  It's been 2015 on the dam every night, for the last five years.  Hartley closes his eyes and he's watching it happen all over again.  That horrifying moment when he learned what the true price of vengeance really was and how utterly unprepared he was to pay it.
Relationships: Hartley Rathaway/Roderick Smith
Series: Five (Long) Years [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740544
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	Five (Long) Years

**Author's Note:**

> After watching the episode Pay the Piper, I'm just itching to write some Hartley/Roderick. So... here we are. :D I've included some of the dialogue from the episode.

It's raining. 

It's raining and Hartley can hear every single rain drop. Every drop that hits the ground, the shushing of rain hitting his clothes, the pattering of rain on an umbrella down the street... Hartley's drowning in the sound of the rain. Zoning out, sitting on a building stoop, frozen to the bone, and soaked through. He needs to go back to his apartment soon. The one he isn't going to be able to pay the rent on next month.

He'd thought his savings were decent enough, but between medical bills - ambulance ride, treatment for a concussion, his new hearing problems, and the hearing aids that he'd wasted money on before building his own - and the fact that Harrison had not merely ruined his reputation but thoroughly fucked it for good measure... and Hartley was almost broke. And contemplating theft.

How the hell had he fallen this far?

In another timeline, he gets back up and goes inside to his apartment. Goes to sleep. But not this timeline.

He sits there, in the cold and the rain, and idly wonders how long it'd take for him to freeze to death in this weather. It's early March, but unseasonably cold. In fact, there's ice and snow predicted for the next morning. 

And that's when cute neighbor shows up. Cute neighbor moved in just shortly after Harrison sent Hartley's life into a tail spin. Hartley should probably know his name already, the man did introduce himself at one point. But Hartley's been drowning slowly over the last several months and he just couldn't be bothered. Not even for a smile that pretty.

"Hartley, right?" Asks cute neighbor.

Guilt pools in Hartley's chest. "Yeah. Sorry, I don't..."

"Roderick." He grins for a moment, though it slips off his face to be replaced with concern. "Don't worry about it. You seem really... is everything okay?" 

Hartley should say 'yes' or 'it's none of your business' or a myriad of other replies. What he says is, "no." He gasps the word out like the truth's been stolen against his will and... finally he starts crying. 

Glancing about nervously, Roderick seems to come to a decision. Straightens up his posture just a little bit and then sits down next to Hartley. Pats Hartley's shoulder awkwardly. "I have no idea what's going on so I don't want to say it'll all be okay and end up a liar. But... I'm a good listener and I've got home made brownies made fresh last night. And hot chocolate and some Baileys. So... if you want to talk or just, like, not be alone right now..."

Which is how Hartley ended up following his cute neighbor upstairs and pouring his miserable life story out while drinking hot chocolate spiked with Irish Creme. 

* * *

Hartley's insomnia has been worse lately. Of course, its always worse this time of year. January is bad because that's the anniversary of when it happened. March is bad because that's when they met. April is bad because it starts with Roderick's birthday.

Not that Roderick can celebrate his birthday, locked in an artificial coma inside a box that both stabilizes his molecules and induces a sort of suspended animation. At least the people at Mercury Labs are taking good care of him. It was the least Tina McGee owed him after he went to her for help stopping Harrison from turning on the accelerator and she laughed him out of her office before having security throw him out on his ass. She screwed up and she'd known it, accepting Hartley's desperate plea to take care of Roderick with solemn acceptance. She'd offered him a job. Hartley'd been the one to laugh at her that time.

He regretted it sometimes, when a heist went wrong. But he didn't deserve...

Anyway, Hartley's laying in bed in the rundown warehouse he's squatting in this month when he hears... it's a tell tale sound, honestly. He could hear the Flash coming a mile away. He's been running slow lately, which has been somewhat disconcerting. But Hartley stumbles out of bed and reaches for his gloves but... they're not on the nightstand.

One of them had developed a flaw after he'd stolen them back from STAR Labs. (Too easy, honestly. Were they even trying to keep their secrets secure over there? Helped that Cisquito had been out of town, though.) He'd thought he'd repaired it the first time, but the flaw had come back and so Hartley had disassembled the entire glove, reassembling it with meticulous attention to detail. He'd found and repaired the deeper problem in the wiring and put it back together before heading to bed. But he'd left the gloves on the work table in the other room.

Running slow or not, the Flash was still too fast for Hartley's comfort. Which is why Hartley, clad in his pajamas, had only made it as far as the bedroom door when the Flash came through the wall and came to a stop in the middle of the cluttered safe house. He ducks back out of sight, watching the Flash look around in curiosity at the loot Hartley's left laying around - most of it is destined for his cache hidden outside of the city but some of it, like the paintings, will be headed to a fence in a few days. And then the Flash's gaze falls on Hartley's gloves, lying out on the work table next to the information Hartley's been gathering for his next heist.

"Hartley?" the Flash called, prompting Hartley to roll his eyes.

What the hell was up with the Flash lately? Amnesia? Unable to remember the night he'd royally fucked over Hartley's life and destroyed his world? How dare he say Hartley's name in that tone, like they're fucking friends or something like that.

"Hello Flash," Hartley greeted, stepping out of the doorway. And then immediately leaning into his powers and calling on his secondary abilities. He opened his mouth and unleashed a sonic shriek, sending the Flash flying across the room and giving Hartley a clean shot at his gloves. 

Hartley's powers were best for quick getaways. His gloves were better for a fight. And as Hartley had no intention of giving up all his hard earned loot - at least not the paintings, there were buyers lined up and he needed the cash - he needed to knock the Flash out long enough to gather a few things and bug out to his secondary safe house.

But the Flash is already rolling back to his feet and Hartley knows he's not going to reach his gloves in time.

"Hartley, I know what happened now and I'm sorry..." the Flash looked, and sounded, painfully earnest. 

It just made Hartley angrier. He prepared for another sonic scream, only to blink and hear the Flash behind him. Hartley turned around, stumbling back towards his gloves only to stop. Stare in wonder... and maybe worry.

The Flash looked like he might actually pass out right on the floor, electricity crackling around him in a way that looked almost... painful.

What the hell was going on?

"Something wrong with your speed?" Hartley asked, fascinated despite himself.

"I'm trying to make things right with you," the Flash insisted, ignoring the question.

"Oh now you're sorry," Hartley snarled reaching for the gloves again. Nothing would ever make things right.

"I think I can help Roderick." 

The one glove Hartley had managed to pick up slips through his fingers to thunk on the ground by his feet as the Flash keeps talking, keeps insisting he can help. Five years and not a word, not a sign of remorse and now... here comes the Flash speaking the magic words Hartley never thought he'd hear. He doesn't want to listen to the Flash. If he's being honest, he doesn't want to listen to Harrison's doppelganger or twin or whatever either. But... if they could save Roderick...

Hartley has to try.

* * *

Roderick Smith, it turns out, is a thief.

He teaches Hartley every trick of the trade he knows and Hartley's first heist is stealing the expensive paintings his parents keep locked up in a vault to be paraded out every now and again to remind people of how wealthy they are. The post heist adrenaline rush is just... divine. Hartley might be hooked already.

And then... hesitantly, sweetly, Roderick kisses Hartley. But Hartley doesn't want hesitant and sweet and he kisses back forcefully until he's got the other man pinned to the wall and begging Hartley to stop teasing while Hartley kneels in front of him and toys with the waistband of Roderick's jeans.

Hartley's gaze flicked upward towards Roderick's face and, still teasing, nipped at the man's belly button. He really made the most beautiful noises like this. "Got a condom?" Hartley finally asks. He wants to shove this man down on the ground and ride him until they've both come. But no condom? No sex.

And Hartley doesn't have one on him. He'd run out months ago, the night before Harrison dumped him and ruined Hartley's career all in one fell swoop. As attractive as Roderick was, Hartley hadn't thought he'd be interested like this. It's too soon, really, for anything other than a rebound but Roderick's kiss had ignited something inside of Hartley that he's suddenly desperate to sate. He should probably stop, though; Roderick deserved better than being the rebound guy.

Roderick fumbled with his back pocket, pulling out his wallet and fishing out a condom... and a packet of lube.

"I want to ride you," Hartley told him, shelving his fears and enjoying the naked desire on Roderick's face that greeted the declaration.

"I," Roderick replied, grabbing Hartley's shoulders and pulling him back up, "am absolutely on board with this plan." And then he kissed Hartley again. Passionate and intense and... somehow still sweet. Something inside Hartley melts... just a little.

* * *

Hartley can't sleep. When he closes his eyes, he's back on that dam. 

He's listening to Harrison talking 'Barry' through building up the lightning enough to throw the charge at Hartley. He's thinking he's so fucking smart because the Flash'll never see Hartley's backup coming.

He's watching his whole world shatter in an instant.

The phone alarm tells Hartley when it's time to get up. Not that it wakes him up. But even with the guilt and the shame and the self-hatred eating him alive, Hartley makes breakfast, sits down at the table, and plots his next heist.

* * *

"You're sure about this," Tina asks. She glances between Hartley and Barry and...

She knows Barry Allen is the Flash. Of course she does. The man is absolutely shitty at hiding it.

When Hartley left his safe house, the Flash had promised to send someone to meet him at Mercury Labs to bring Roderick to STAR Labs. And when Hartley arrived, there was Barry Allen. Awkwardly cute without the cowl and putting the bare minimum effort into pretending he's not the Flash. He'd introduced himself as STAR Labs current owner and was painfully optimistic that Nash Wells would be able to preform a miracle.

Hartley's not sure about this at all, though. He's getting his hopes up again. He's going to hurt so much when it fails. When he has to bring Roderick back to Tina and beg her to keep looking. One of these days the false hope is going to kill him.

"I'm sure," he lies. 

Tina stares at him and then sighs. Nods at Barry. "There are a few release forms to sign," she tells them both. "And even then it'll be a few hours before he'll be ready to transport."

* * *

The post heist sex was supposed to be a one time thing.

It's not a one time thing.

This is the third time they've had sex and it just keeps getting better. But Roderick's caught feelings and Hartley hasn't. Not to the same degree, anyway. He should put a stop to this... whatever this is growing between them. Stop it before Roderick inevitably gets hurt.

After all... Hartley'd thought what he had with Harrison was forever. Not the sort of love one gets over easily... even if Hartley no longer misses the other man's touch. But Hartley's a selfish creature and he curls guiltily into his new lover's arms, taking from Roderick affection he craves but fears he'll never be able to adequately reciprocate.

This is going to end in tears, Hartley can feel it.

* * *

"I need a hacker, not a thief," Snart tells him. "I've gotten plenty of thieves on the team already." The man gives him a long, steady stare. "Just because you're a genius doesn't mean you're a hacker. And I don't need someone else gunning for the Flash and making it personal. Fastest way to lose sight of the plan is to make it personal and I had enough of that bullshit from Mardon."

Which explained why Mark Mardon wasn't here, despite being rumored to be one of Snart's rogues.

"Give me a test, then. A chance to prove my skills."

Snart nodded. "I want you to hack the CCPD, then. Get me access to the information on one of their employees." He pretended to think about it. "CSI by the name of Barry Allen."

Hartley laughed. "What happened to not making it personal with the Flash?" Mocking Snart was probably a stupid idea, but Hartley rolled his eyes anyway. "I have enhanced hearing, Snart. It wasn't that hard to put together that the name I was hearing them call him over his comms matched up neatly with my former colleague's new Facebook friend. Whatever information it is you're looking for regarding him, I'm not stupid enough to put myself in the middle of a pissing contest between Captain Cold and the Flash."

The flinty eyes, cold as ice and every bit deserving of his villainous moniker, thawed just a touch. "That was test number one," Snart told him. "I'll let you know what you can hack as a test of your computer skills tomorrow. Be back here same time tomorrow night. If you don't show, I'll find you and I'll ice you. And if I find out you do have a vendetta you're using me to carry out against the Flash..."

"You'll turn me into the Pied Popsicle?" Hartley asked mock innocently. 

"Something like that."

Much as Hartley wanted to comment on Snart going soft for Barry Allen's pretty face, Hartley valued his life just barely enough to keep his mouth shut.

* * *

It's always the same dream. Nightmare. Whatever.

The Flash looks over his shoulder and turns his back on Hartley to face Roderick and the two men they'd hired. Roderick panics and forgets the plan and shoots his sonic gun before Hartley can use his gloves on the Flash and...

All that charge the Flash built up goes flying, probably on instinct. The explosion knocks them all off their feet.

That's when Hartley hears the screaming.

* * *

"But I wouldn't expect you to understand that, Hartley" Cisco says quietly. "Because the person you love the most is yourself."

Hartley can't help the flinch as the barb hits home. He shouldn't have given in to the old habit of taunting Cisco. They'd both been Harrison's victims in the end. 

But he never seemed to learn. Poking at Cisco's weak spots was a good way to have his own weaknesses laid bare too.

And the truth is, Hartley was a selfish asshole who'd thought only of himself. Of his desire to get payback. If he'd spared even a single thought to the risk he was asking Roderick to take... 

So he says nothing as Cisco walks out of the room. 

* * *

The original plan was for Hartley to go alone. But Roderick can't bear the thought of Hartley putting himself in danger like that with no back up.

Hartley moaned, resolve wavering as Roderick sucked and nipped at his lower lip.

"Please, Hartley. I love you. Let me watch your back."

Come morning, the plan is altered. Hartley infiltrates STAR Labs alone. He's firm on that point. But when he fights the Flash on the dam, Roderick will be waiting armed with sonic tech of his own.

Hartley just wishes he could say those words back to Roderick as easily as the other man tells them to Hartley. _I love you._ It's just... Hartley's not sure yet. Can't say the words if he's not sure... it wouldn't be right.

* * *

For a moment - a single, glorious moment - it looked like the procedure would work. And then all goes horribly wrong.

Roderick's scream of pain sounds just like Hartley remembered, echoing in his nightmares all these years.

"Stop it! You're hurting him!" Hartley felt like he was standing on the dam all over again. Standing over Roderick in the wake of his own failed attempt to save him.

Wells pulled the plug and Roderick subsided back into the more familiar coma. Hartley could only hope it was more peaceful than that moment of pain they'd just caused him.

"Hartley, I'm sorry." Barry's sincerity was grating. "But we can try..."

"I was stupid for trusting you," Hartley interrupted, knowing any moment he was going to start crying. They'd been so close... but it wasn't enough. It was never enough. "Don't ask me for anything. Ever. My world is over. I hope yours burns." He booked a fast retreat, navigating the hallways by memory until he found himself at the entrance to the pipeline.

Only then did the tears start to fall.

* * *

When he saw Roderick lying there, molecules distorted and whole body vibrating and phasing in and out, Hartley knew he'd miscalculated. Badly.

There's a saying about gambling. Don't bet anything you can't afford to lose. Hartley had thought he was playing chess only to find at the last minute the game was poker. And he'd just lost everything that mattered.

The Flash was in shock over what happened and Hartley couldn't spare him a single thought any more. There were more important things than revenge.

Hartley lurched to his feet and crossed the distance between himself and Roderick's prone form in the blink of an eye. Then he was desperately using his sonic gloves to try and stabilize Roderick. One frequency after another and nothing was working, why wasn't this working?! He screamed in hopes that maybe with his powers he might instinctively hit the right frequency.

But this wasn't a fairy tale and thieves didn't get miracles. Selfish assholes like Hartley always got their comeuppance but it was always the sweet, kind ones like Roderick who paid the price.

"I love you." Hartley dropped to his knees and grasped at his lover's arm, solid one moment and insubstantial the next. "I love you, come back. Roderick, please..."

Hartley always did learn the hard way.

* * *

The other man's hands under Hartley's shirt makes his skin crawl.

"Stop," Hartley demanded, turning away from the kiss.

"Don't be like that," the other man purrs and... shit, Hartley doesn't even know his name...

"I said stop," Hartley snarled, shoving hard, making the other guy stumble back. The room tilts a little and Hartley's stomach lurches. He drank too much. Why the hell did he drink too much?

"Asshole," grumbled the other guy. "Fuck you then." He stalked off.

It's been a year since... since Roderick... 

Hartley stumbles to the bathroom and manages to snag a stall before he throws up.

"Think that one's been partying too hard," he hears someone say and Hartley suspects they're talking about him.

It'd been a year. Over a year, actually. He'd thought... he'll never have his world back so why shouldn't he try to move on? But the other man's hands had made Hartley feel sicker than the alcohol did. Worse than the pounding scream of the music, barely held at bay by his hearing aids.

The only hands Hartley wanted to touch him were Roderick's and he'd never have that sweet touch on his skin ever again.

He goes home alone. He's always alone.

* * *

"I know what it's like to be responsible for losing the person I love."

Hartley feels the last of the fight drain out of him at those words. He'd suspected. Whatever took the love of Cisco's life must've snagged Barry's too along the way. Unless they were part of a triad relationship but Hartley didn't get the impression Cisco and Barry were metamours or lovers themselves. 

"Roderick... he wasn't just another hired gun, was he?"

A little slow on the uptake, but when the Flash shoots, he scores. "He's my boyfriend." Hartley had never really managed to get the hang of using past tense for describing Roderick. He'd tried to move on, but how could he? Roderick was still alive, trapped in this limbo. "The love of my life," Hartley continued, scrubbing away his tears as he went to sit down. "I put him in the line of fire when I fought you. Meaning that what happened to him... is my fault."

"You're not the only one to blame. I threw the lightning, remember?"

"I gave him the weapon that made you defend yourself," Hartley countered. A barely tested weapon at that. And Hartley was supposed to be the smartest person in the room, but he'd never even considered what the consequences of his sonic weaponry clashing with the Flash's electricity might be. "And I couldn't... I couldn't help him."

Barry was far too kind. "You got him the help he needed." 

"He was better off at Mercury Labs than with me." Tina couldn't save Roderick, but she could stabilize him. Let him sleep through the pain, unaware of time passing. "I was useless." Worse than useless.

Hartley bit back the words that threatened to spill out, the self-hatred he'd been bottling up for years shoved down once more. It should've been him who was hit by that thermogenic explosion. Should have been him suffering the molecular destabilization. He should have died before letting even a single second of harm befall Roderick.

"Someone just reminded me that... we're no good to the people we love if we can't find the strength to move forward. Forgive ourselves," Barry offered quietly.

"That sounds like a really useless cliche," Hartley countered. "Thanks, Oprah."

"Yeah, Nash said it better." 

Ah, advice from on high. No wonder it sucked.

"Hey," came Cisco's voice, echoing both over the intercom and from down the hall, just slightly out of sync. "We've got a big problem at Iron Heights."

Barry gave Hartley a long look, like he was trying to figure out if Hartley was going to be okay. Then, finally, "you can stay here. Or you can be the person Roderick fell in love with. It's your call."

The person Roderick fell in love with... Hartley's still not sure that person was ever real.

* * *

"You were willing to throw away your life's work if it meant saving lives. How could I not fall in love with someone like that?"

Hartley feels like such a fraud. Roderick sees him as this good person and he's not. He's really not.

"Hartley, it's okay you don't feel the same way about me," Roderick kissed away the tears Hartley didn't even realize were falling. "You're worth waiting for. However long it takes, you're worth waiting for, love."

"I care about you so much," Hartley admits. "I don't want to hurt you. But nothing good ever lasts..."

"What we have will last," Roderick promised. "Please... give me a chance to prove that to you. One day at a time."

Hartley's chest felt so full... and all he could do, the only response he could offer, was to lean forward to kiss the man who'd been putting his broken pieces back together.

* * *

"I'm gonna be... out of town for a while. Not sure how long." Snart actually looks nervous. 

"Got it. Guess I'm on my own for jobs until you get back. Certainly not gonna be teaming up with Bivolo or Baez on my own." Bivolo was too cavalier with his powers for Hartley's comfort. He'd made his own counter to Bivolo's whammy and gifted one to Snart as a show of loyalty. But he wasn't going to risk getting whammied and have it set in too fast to fix himself without knowing there was someone like Snart or Rory around who could knock him down and metaphorically sit on him until he'd recovered. As for Baez... she'd come out of the STAR Labs pipeline a little unhinged. The only broken person Hartley was interested in trying to help fix right now was himself.

"Steer clear of Mardon too," Snart advised. "You've got some good skills and you'll be fine on your own, but... if my sister comes by while I'm gone..."

"If she wants to run a job, I'd be happy to be on her crew," Hartley replied. "Take care of yourself, Snart. I like working for you." But something heavy in Hartley's gut tells him that this is the end of their working relationship. They're never gonna see each other again.

They'd sort of understood each other, which had been nice. And their interactions strictly professional. 

He asks, "when do you think you'll be back?" anyway.

Snart hummed thoughtfully. "Not sure. Apparently there's gonna be time travel involved. Not sure how much I trust the driver."

Time travel. Hartley's thoughts go to Roderick. Opens his mouth to ask. Closes it. Snart's a good boss, but Hartley can't see him risking his neck to save anyone who isn't Lisa or Mick.

They're thieves, not heroes. That's probably for the best.

* * *

The first time Hartley goes a full twenty-four hours without his hearing aids is a triumph. The hearing aids are still useful, particularly for bad days. But Hartley can get by without them now, which is good because they ate batteries the way little kids devoured a bag of Skittles. 

He never thought, at the start, he'd be able to control his hearing. Certainly it wasn't as easy as _The Sentinel_ had made it look. (And with Roderick... unavailable to help him focus, there's a lot less gay erotic subtext flying around than Hartley'd prefer too.)

But he does it. He sits there in the spring rain and listens to the rain drops. No hearing aids and no zoning out either. And when his thoughts turn dark, Hartley gets up and goes inside. Makes himself some hot chocolate with Baileys.

He hopes Roderick will be proud of him, one day.

* * *

The Flash has a hero complex and it's going to get him killed. Cisco knows it. Hartley can hear it in the fear in the other man's voice.

Both men are at the end of their rope. Each of them struggling past their grief, trying to do the next right thing.

The man Roderick fell in love with was a petty, salty gay man struggling from the wounds of being abandoned by his lover and drowning in the guilt of not being able to do enough to stop that lover from causing disaster and death. The man Roderick had fallen in love with had wanted justice and vengeance in equal measure, and it was losing sight of the former while being consumed by the latter that had cost them both so dearly.

Doing the right thing isn't going to get Hartley his boyfriend back. But maybe... that wasn't the point. Maybe Hartley'd never have his happily ever after. But he could try to redeem, just a little bit, that man Roderick loved so much.

It wasn't the first time Hartley'd hacked the GPS STAR Labs used to track the Flash. But, as Hartley runs out to his motorcycle, it's the first time he's used it to try and catch up to the Flash instead of avoid him.

He almost doesn't make it in time. The speedsters are all over the place and Hartley's practically having to guess which way they'll turn and hope they'll double back at one point. His heart practically stops at the sight of Barry falling as Hartley leaps off his bike and primes his gloves. He needs the precision; his scream alone isn't gonna cut it, not when he's trying to save the Flash instead of rip him to shreds. 

But this time... this time Hartley's tech saves someone's life. Roderick would like that.

* * *

It occurs to Hartley, the night before he puts his plan in motion, that he could still change his mind. Run away with Roderick and just... forget Harrison. Forget Central City. Forget the accelerator and the Flash and whatever is going on in STAR Labs...

The feeling of laying against Roderick's chest, the other man's arm wound loosely around Hartley's waist is perfect. And they could have this forever. Hartley thinks he'd like that, forever with Roderick. He's not sure when that happened. It just sort of... snuck up on him, didn't it?

Maybe he doesn't need to stick it to Harrison one last time. Maybe... maybe he could tell Roderick "I love you" without being afraid.

But they've already built the weapons and hired the henchmen - Roderick's expression the first time he said "we've got henchmen" was just adorable. They've been planning this for months, building up to it for so long...

When it was over, he'd tell Roderick about this new certainty he had about their relationship and his love. When it was over, they'd walk away from Central City together with no regrets... 

When it was over...

* * *

The funny thing is, Hartley'd first theorized about charged sound while completing his Masters. He'd written his Doctorate Thesis on the topic and come very closes to actually synthesizing it before finally concluding that the technology to create charged sound just... wasn't quite there yet.

It never occurred to him to look to charged sound as a fix for Roderick, probably because the technology still wasn't ready yet. So his brain just... skipped and hopped right over it without tormenting him with the what if scenarios. Perhaps the only way his anxiety and self-loathing didn't sucker punch him over the years.

But of course... a freak accident brings Hartley the very miracle he's been longing for. Charged sound created from the inhuman blood of the Godspeed clone. 

Whatever Nash Wells is doing to refine it, Hartley can't help with. He'd get in the way and he knows it, so he wanders back to the Cortex and Cisco's device meant to... how had Cisco put it? Save the one he loves the most?

It was very melodramatically stated. If not for the barb that had followed it up, Hartley might've almost been proud.

Anyway, sound and vibrations are Hartley's wheelhouse and he needs to feel productive right now, so maybe he can help. Which is why he's inspecting the device when Cisco walks in.

"What the hell are you doing?" Cisco's voice and body language are angry, defensive.

Hartley has to wrestle with his pettier impulses for a moment, but he manages to look up with a practiced air of well-faked relaxation. "I may not be of any use right now when it comes to saving the love of my life... but I thought maybe I could help you with yours." It's a peace offering. The best Hartley can manage at the moment.

Cisco seems to get it, though. He nods. "Okay. You are the vibrations expert."

"From the looks of things, you're not too shabby yourself," Hartley allowed. They were never going to be friends. But maybe... Hartley could learn to let go of the past a little bit.

* * *

It's pretty rare for the Flash to interrupt one of Hartley's heists. If Hartley were feeling generous, he'd say the man was avoiding him out of guilt. But Hartley rarely feels generous regarding the Flash.

"Dr. Wells died in the Singularity," the Flash told him, instead of opening with a pithy one-liner per usual. "I thought you'd want to know."

"It's a shame it didn't take you with it," Hartley spat back. The Mayor was awarding this guy the key to the city? What a joke.

* * *

It took four years, but Hartley finally went to visit the empty grave left for Harrison Wells. He stared at the headstone and the grass covered plot in front of it, wondering what he'd expected to find here.

Catharsis maybe, but it was nowhere to be found. He just felt hollow, empty. He'd given some of the best years of his life to this asshole and received nothing back but grief and sorrow. That he'd sacrificed his chance at a happy future afterwards was all on Hartley and no one else.

He turned away, a sharp pivot on one heel, and then strode off. He could have shattered the headstone, he considered later that evening while drinking hot chocolate and snuggling in Roderick's favorite blanket. But what would have been the point?

That part of his life was over and done. Harrison didn't deserve any further consideration.

* * *

"Hartley, this will stabilize Roderick." Cisco sounds so certain and Hartley wishes he could share in it.

He can't. He's tired and reached the end of his rope years ago. "If you hurt him, I'll hurt you." Those words are more for Nash than Cisco, but Hartley can barely stand to look at Harrison's doppel-twin right now. He's only got eyes for Roderick.

The procedure starts and, like before, it seems like it's going well. Roderick's eyes open. Hartley is already bracing himself for that scream again and...

"Hartley?" Roderick's voice is breathless and confused. "Hartley?" he repeats, looking around sluggishly but with increasing energy.

"I'm here," he responds, smile lighting up his face. Their eyes met and, oh, Hartley can barely breathe himself. Is this really happening? "I thought I'd lost you."

"Come on... you know I'm harder to get rid of than that," he teased and Hartley just...

He looks away, laughing because otherwise he'll start crying. Five years. Five long years. How is he going to tell Roderick how long it's really been?

"So, what happened? The last thing I remember we were at the dam and the Flash and he, uh..." Roderick tenses up at the memory

"He helped bring you back," Hartley assured him, glancing over at Barry with a grateful expression.

"We'll give you guys some space," Barry said, shooing the others out with him.

Hartley turned back to Roderick. "There's a lot I need to tell you. And you're kind of stuck in the box for the next hour until we can verify you're actually stable. But I want to hear your voice. It's been too long since I..."

"Hey, bae, it's all gonna be alright. I'm here now." Roderick reached up to touch the glass closest to Hartley's face. "I'm here. I don't like this hour wait, I want to hold you now." 

"I..." Hartley took a shaky breath, tears stinging his eyes. "I love you."

"Hart... oh, Hart, I love you too."

* * *

"Everything's gonna be all right, rock-a-bye," Roderick sang absently as he looked over the plans for the sonic gun. "rock-a-bye..."

"So if I were to guess what was playing on the radio when you woke up this morning," Hartley teased. "Shawn Mullins, 'Lullaby' would be in at least the top three guesses."

"Yeah, it was," Roderick reached out to grab Hartley's hand, tugging him close for a slow, sensuous kiss that made Hartley's toes curl.

"I love how your voice sounds when you sing to me," Hartley blurted out, blushing as Roderick started swaying them back and forth and humming softly.

"Any song requests?" Roderick asked, voice turning a touch huskier.

"Anything at all. I just want to hear your voice," Hartley murmured, tucking himself closer against Roderick's chest.

"Do-do-duh-do-do," Roderick sang teasingly.

"Oh no."

"Do-do-duh-do-do."

"That doesn't even sound like the right tune," Hartley laughed, started to pull away while Roderick held fast.

"Do-do-duh-do-do." Roderick's hands reached down to tickle Hartley's sides, both of them giggling like mad. "And I'd give up forever to touch you 'cause I know that you feel me somehow," he finally sang for real, after the awful attempt at the opening riff of Goo Good Doll's 'Iris'. "You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be and I don't wanna go home right now."

Hartley snuggled back into Roderick's embrace and let his voice just... wash over him.

* * *

"And I don't want the world to see me 'cause I don't think that they'd understand," Roderick sang softly, for Hartley's ears only. "When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am."

The timer started beeping in the distance and Hartley scrubbed at his face. "That's an hour over. I'm going to check your vitals on the scanner and then how about we get you out of that box."

"Sounds wonderful," Roderick replied. "I feel good, though. No pain at all."

"Always a good sign." Hartley walked over and checked the readouts twice. All green lights and positive indicators. He popped the seal on the stasis chamber and slid the side open. "It's a little awkward to get out of, I guess, but..." he offered Roderick his hands and his eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of Roderick's touch. Had anything ever felt so wonderful?

"Oh, Hart, don't cry," Roderick slid the rest of the way and stood up, drawing Hartley into his arms. "Hartley... how long was I gone?"

"Five... five years and about three months give or take a week." He knew the exact number of days, actually. But Hartley wasn't quite yet ready to admit he'd counted each and every one of them.

"Five... oh my god." Roderick held Hartley tighter. "You waited for me, all that time?"

"I could never figure out how to let you go. It was worth the wait to have this again. To have you again. My world..." he started to sob, "my world is so empty without you, Roderick. You are my world. I love you. I should have said it before..."

"Five years..." Roderick repeated and then nuzzled against Hartley's forehead. "I can't even imagine... thank you, Hartley. For waiting for me. For bringing me home."


End file.
